Hey Bro- Nice Car

Pop Quiz for MEN ONLY:

car

Guys, if you wanted to borrow your buddy’s car, would you:

A) Joke about driving it, and if he laughs or doesn’t shoot it down, assume he is fine with you borrowing it (maybe even wants you to?).
B) Work your way into gauging his response about it. Stand near it, grab the keys sometimes. As long as he doesn’t say no, it’s fine. Just ease into it slowly!
C) Be really, really nice to him. Get him things. Do stuff for him. He’ll see that you’re a good guy and let you borrow his car. You deserve it!
D) If he likes your post about cars on Facebook, assume he’s thinking about letting you borrow his sometime.
E) Wait to talk to him about it until his state of mind is compromised- like if he’s drunk, and jump on the opportunity before he changes his mind (especially if it’s a really fast or expensive car- how often do opportunities like that come along?!). If he realizes he didn’t really mean it when he sobers up, that’s his fault for getting that drunk in the first place.
F) If you think he might, just straight up ask him. If he says no, you won’t waste your time and you can ask another friend who might borrow you their car.

Any option except “F” is ridiculous, right? Because you’re grown ass adults, and that car belongs to someone else, so it’d be weird to not respect that.

So, why is it that guys treat girls (and sex) like this? Every single one of these options on the list is something I’ve personally experienced. I hear so much about these behaviors from stories my girl friends tell that I had to bring it up: It’s common decency to be more respectful about a car than about a human female these days. Tell me something’s not seriously messed up there.

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6 thoughts on “Hey Bro- Nice Car

  1. Rebecca Meyer

    Great analogy! And it’s so sad that this is true and many women have experienced this (myself included). It’s just outrageous that men believe that a woman saying “no” is an invitation for a debate or coercion. It’s disturbing. I’ve have experiences where guys get mad if I reject them, some want me to “think about it,” and when I’m at bars, I’ve had lots of creepy guys come on to me. It’s gross.

    Reply
  2. Martin

    This post leaves me with a sweet sour feeling tangling. I agree with the idea behind it, to respect interactions, to be sincere and not interact with second motivations, in a manipulative way. I’m all up for that and is what I try to achieve when I meet people in general, not just women. Having said this, human relations are not as straight forward as option (second) E puts it. Yes of course some people like straightforwardness, but many don’t. Some people like romance, some like being approached indirectly. I think it goes more in line with a) not assuming that interacting with someone will neccessarily end up with whatever you have in mind b) real interaction means listening and ‘feeling’ the other person. Some people will be playfull, some will be indirect, some will be sarcastic and it’s up to the process of interacting to see if people match up. It’s taking out the idea that interacting is a means to an end. Get to know someone for the pleasure of it and see if the other’s way of interacting suits you. If that way is straightforward or indirect well, be open about it.

    Reply
    1. justsarahg Post author

      Life isn’t as straight forward as the last option, but it is a million times more respectful than the other ways. You can call them all “indirect ways of getting to know whether someone is interested,” but I call it disregarding the potential for the other’s person’s feelings to not be what you want in a push for your own motives.

      Reply

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