Monthly Archives: July 2013

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In your eyes I see

Their reflections staring back at me;

Naïve, innocent, like mine aren’t-

Believing what falls from those lips

Like we know I never will;

And I envy them

For feeling like they had you.

Rose colored glasses I started to wear

Creep into my mind,

And I miss them-

Who you are was so beautiful

When I loved you.

A Love Story.

He was weird with his phone again all yesterday. He’d been driving her crazy with it all week. He just gets stoned and plays video games all day, every day. She felt like a ghost in the room. Sitting on the laptop, bored as hell, hoping to be noticed. He came and sat by her or touched her from time to time, but it was still kind of like he was doing that to appease her more than being actually interested in her. His mind is elsewhere.

In the afternoon she decided to run next door to get some coffee. He asked her to get some food too. She lingered a little at the door, getting her shoes and coat on. She saw him look back at her, and it seemed “off”. Like he was checking over his shoulder to see if she was still there. She paused for another minute as he looked back to his game. What the hell was that? Then she noticed his phone was now pulled out from where it had been charging on the floor just minutes ago, before she’d gotten up. “Figures,” she thought.

She walked out and noticed the nip in the air. Fall is coming and the grey skies that come with it fit her mood well these days. She pulled out a cigarette. She felt herself take a drag and noticed that it felt angry. She pondered to herself if she didn’t like smoking lately because she channels her anger through it- strange as that idea seemed. She needed a fucking release. She sucks it in and it feels like poison, and she likes that. It’s this numbness she has, it makes her want to feel something. Even a bad something is still something. Her numbness, the anger beneath it; It makes her feel like doing something bad to herself. Her stupid, unnoticed self. “God, that’s creepy, right?” Her mind resounds the dialogue to no one. That darkness in her is troublesome. She probably should be more worried about it than she is. She shrugs to herself and flicks the ash before taking another drag.

That cigarette made her feel sick. But it bought her some alone time. Time before she has to go back in that apartment and feel lonely again. Funny- lonelier than being out there by herself. When she’s out there alone, at least she doesn’t have to feel unwanted. She looks down at her phone, void of texts. She finds herself wishing that there was anyone out there thinking of her. Wishing there was anyone to keep her from thinking about whoever is on the other end of his phone. She shoots a text to the one mostly likely to respond, and heads back in.

He wonders what took her so long, but he has a feeling. He feels a pang of anger. He can’t look at her when she sits back down. His suspicion is confirmed a little while later when he hears her phone go off, as she reaches to check her messages. “Figures,” he thinks, watching out of the corner of his eye. He turns to his friend. “Hey man, you want another hit?”

You Suck At Facebook… (13 Things To NEVER Do On A Social-Networking Site)

Everybody has “that friend” on Facebook or Twitter, who updates statuses needlessly or generally just drives you nuts. Often times this leads to “unfriending” or “unfollowing”, but what if you found out you were “that friend”?

We’ve all had our fair share of faux pas, (even me- I’ve done a thing or two on this list in my lifetime) so let’s go through and talk about the worst of the worst.

Social Networking Don’ts (13 Things To NEVER Do On A Social-Networking Site)

1. Don’t air your dirty laundry.

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If you didn’t want attention for it, you wouldn’t post it on a public profile. Having an idea or something to say is totally appropriate, but drama= needy.

2. Don’t post something ambiguous and then refuse to divulge. (Ex: “This sucks.” “Worst day ever.” “I never thought this would happen.”)

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There is no point in writing something that no one understands, and there is less point if you won’t explain. It doesn’t make you seem brooding, complex, and emotional, it makes you seem (again) needy and attention-seeking.

3. Don’t gush over your relationship.

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If it was really so great, you wouldn’t need public affirmation of how great it was. He made you dinner on Tuesday? Flowers on Thursday? You love him so much on Friday? You’re so lucky on Saturday? Who exactly are you trying to impress? Once in a while, we understand how awesome it might be, but there is a big difference between appreciating your SO, and overkill.

4. Don’t gush over your relationship WITH your significant other. 

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If you’re constantly writing on each other’s walls or tweeting each other about how in love you are- we’re not convinced. I’ll say it again, if your relationship is legitimately great, you won’t need public affirmation. Your partner’s participation in the gushing-of-relationship is not any less showy or vapid. Phone’s broke? Don’t have an email? You can still private message them via social networking. The singular reason to publicly talk to your significant other is so that others will see it– and don’t think we don’t know that.

5. Don’t Picnik your photos with quotes.

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Even in 2005 when it was actually “in”, it was only by flighty teenage girls who fancied themselves “artistic” by pasting whatever they felt was a funny, cute, interesting quote or song lyric onto their photos. Which is exactly what you will be stereotyped as if you do it, too. Colored typography and picture stickers are not exactly artistic.

6. Don’t use a profile picture that isn’t you.

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Ever notice how much more interested you are in your new friends’ profile pictures when they aren’t all cars, cartoons, and word-y quotes? How much more apt you are to check out your friends’ picture change when it pops up on your mini-feed, when it looks like he got a new haircut or she’s having fun with her friends? Don’t think the same doesn’t apply to you. Your friends love using Facebook to check you out just as much as you love using Facebook to check them all out. They really don’t want to check out half a dozen photos of just your kids. If they did, they’d look for an album with your kids in it. Cartoons, random photography, and quotes are all boring. Profile pictures are for you to display.. well, you. So besides the allure of it, try not to forget that it’s also their main intended function.
(And guys- if your profile pictures are full of your car and not your face, we ladies realize that that’s because the car is the better looking one.)

7. Don’t duckface. 

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Everyone knows by now. But you’re still doing it. Probably because you think it makes you look more attractive. And you know what? It might actually make your face look a little better squished up like that. I get it. But it also makes you look kind of like a moron for making a face that you’d never make in any real life setting for your pictures.

8. Don’t share or post pictures of pretty engagement rings you like.

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We all get the hint, but none of us are going to propose to you. (Bonus: if your age still has “teen” at the end of it, this is a double-don’t.) Seriously though, if you’re trying to tell your boyfriend something by posting these, try doing it without spamming our newsfeed.

9. Don’t make a profile for your baby or your pet. 

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They don’t know whether they have it or not- but we do.. and I don’t think anyone should enable that further by lying to you about how funny it is. Truth: We don’t think your cute-sy updates about the new organic puppy food or kicking mommy’s belly is cute at all. It’s actually kind of weird. You’re creating a personality for them? …Why would you do that?

10. Don’t post a status or photo that implies Jesus saw you look at it and not share it, therefore you should feel guilty.

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Get. Real. Jesus will not be mad or sad or disappointed that you didn’t post something on your Facebook. Don’t be a mindless follower… you’re driving us nuts.

11. Don’t make a status directed at one person. (Ex: “Baby, I love you”, “You know who you are..”, “Some people need to learn to..”) 

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This falls under the categories of ambiguity, gushing, and/or airing dirty laundry. Please refer back to the appropriate category and cease the behavior.

12. Don’t network your job or business on your personal profile. 

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You’re spamming your friends with your job, and we’re not interested in how many new phones you have in stock, their new deals, or what your carrier’s new plan is. If you want to network your job, create a new profile or group and add/follow everyone you want. Even strangers! This is how businesses network.  Not only are you doing a terrible job at networking whatever it is we’re supposed to be interested in, you’re actually just annoying all of your old friends who want to hear about you and your life, not a sales pitch.

13. Don’t be a Facebook-Evangelist. 

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Your religion, your faith, your spirituality.. they’re great. You want to share about it? That’s great too. Similar to posts all about your relationship, your job, or your drama, over-posting about ANY topic is sure to seem over-zealous and eventually, boring or annoying. I’m sure there’s more to you and your life than than that one thing. And since we’re your friends, we’d love to hear about it all! Even your faith! Just not ONLY your faith, okay?

Now, a lot of people claim that it’s their Facebook, it’s their Twitter, etc, so they can do whatever they want with it- whether you like it or not. This claim is entirely true. They also say that if you’re going to be their friend, you should accept them however they are. This claim is… pretty much true too. I don’t have time to argue with that statement, as this is my wrap-up portion of the post. In any case- to those people who like to make the aforementioned claims, I will apologize and let you all know that unfortunately, you while DO have the freedom of expression, you do not have the freedom from others’ judgments.

Obviously, none of us have freedom from the judgments of others. That does not mean, however, that we can’t occasionally cut down on our annoying-ness. We probably should. (And you, who do one or more of these 13 “Don’t”s, definitely should.)

A huge thanks, from your followers and friends. 🙂

Words Unspoken

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Words Unspoken.

My baby. You’re so beautiful to me. Everything about you makes me want you. I worry that other people will think that too… But why shouldn’t they? Anybody should see that in you. You’re so much of what I’d like to be. To know. To have. To call mine.

My baby. Is love blind? Or are you really so flawless? Your messy hair and scruffy beard.. They make me laugh. You look so good no matter what you do. Your weight goes down and you’re so sexy. Your weight goes up and you’re so sexy. I laugh again, because you think it makes a difference. You’re beautiful, baby.

My baby. How is it that I have found someone who can see and understand even the dustiest corners of my mixed-up soul? You can somehow clear the dust, knowingly, lovingly, and I finally get a glimpse of who I am.

My baby. You’re a shot of some poison, you weaken me and bring me to my knees. Half alive, I come back for another hit; you alone can quench the thirst that you’ve left me with. You’re a drug that I crave; you take me so high I can’t breathe. I crash and you watch me fall.. I vow I won’t give you the satisfaction of watching me surrender my pride for more. But I must concede. I am yours.

My baby. I am yours. I’ve fought it from the start, I fight it still. Oh, let me tire and fall into your embrace, where you’ve been waiting all along. I’d love to be yours, truly and wholly. I’m stubborn, I’m careful, I’m scared- be patient with me. If you couldn’t break me, I wouldn’t be so difficult. Oh, put away all your armor and weapons, so I can be sure I won’t be broken. Say the word, my love, and I’ll put away mine too… they’ve been getting so heavy.

My baby. Be mine. Who else will hold your hands like I do, memorizing every crease and crevice? Who else could hug you like I do, sinking in to every embrace, soaking up your warmth? Who else would kiss you like I do, loving every bit of skin my lips get to touch? I just can’t trust anyone else to love you like I do. Be mine, baby, so I won’t have to.

My baby. These are words unspoken. Yet words unspoken are no less real because I haven’t spoken them. These words unspoken are no less mine because you didn’t hear them from my lips. I hide these words unspoken in my heart, behind my eyes, and in every touch we share. I wish you could know, my baby. That you’re so beautiful to me. Everything about you makes me want you.